A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand."

"Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son.

After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods."

"That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom ..." "Yes son?"

"What good does all that do us here in the San Diego Zoo?"

A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making.

Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it.

The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work.

Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success.

So, he said, "Look. Let's both get on top."

At that point the parrot pulled away the towel with his beak and said: "Zoo or no zoo. I just gotta see this."

Larry went to visit his 86 year old grandfather in a very rural area. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, Larry's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon and eggs. Larry noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, 'Are these plates clean?'

His grandfather replied, 'They're as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal'.

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, Larry was concerned about the plates as it appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, 'Are you sure these plates are clean?'

Without looking up the old man said, 'I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you worry, I don't want to hear another word about it'.

Later that afternoon, as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass. Larry yelled and said, 'Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car'.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, 'COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN NOW, YAH HERE ME!!!

Submitted by Greg Hall
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This man sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale."
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black dog just sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the mutt replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The man is amazed.

He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, "Ten dollars."

The man says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?

"The owner replies, "He's such a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."

Submitted by Greg Hall
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